This book came from the library, and I will never give you less than an honest review, no matter its source. I do provide informational and purchase links to make it more convenient for you to access the book. I also receive a percentage of the sale if you use one of my links to buy it. And that's not enough money to be less than truthful *grin*.
50 Ways to Hex Your Lover
by Linda Wisdom
Genres: Paranormal Romance
First in the Jazz Tremaine, a.k.a., Hex, hysterically funny paranormal-romance revolving around a witch with an attitude.
There is a God! This is only the first in a too, too funny series and it makes me so happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I’m easy… Loved that wallmail! Then there’s that ringtone…!
He made Star Trek‘s greedy Ferengi look like spendthrifts.
Think about it, the girls were banished in 1313 to only the powers they had. They had 100 years to make up for their behavior — time would be added on for bad behavior — and most of ’em are still not redeemed in 2007.
Okay, Nick seems like a gorgeous, fun guy…when he’s not making life decisions arbitrarily for Jazz. But, Wisdom has made it too easy for them to get back together.
The last time I had PMS a roast chicken popped out of the oven and danced the Macarena
Wisdom does a great job of creating a story in which you don’t feel as though you’ve walked into a blip in their lives. It stands on its own and, yet, when you get to the end you find yourself hoping that this is just the beginning. She has some great characters — I don’t object to characters with issues, and god knows Jazz has issues, but at least she’s not stupid! Oh yeah, I am definitely jealous that Jazz can eat anything she likes…bitch.
When the Wizard was passing out brains did any of you ever think about standing in line to get one?
Just when Jazz thinks she’s got her life under control. Great house, great roommate. Fluff and Puff haven’t eaten anyone lately. Then Nick comes back into her life. It’s been thirty-five years and still not long enough. She wants him out. She does not want to hear what he has to say. Every time she lets herself get sucked back in, he always ends up screwing her over. And not in the good way!
But Nick isn’t a quitter and he has so missed Jazz. Besides he really needs her help on this job. If he can just pry her away from driving for Dweezil and wandering the midway. So many vampires have gone missing that even the Protectorate is sitting up and taking notice. Hmph, Nick’s only been trying to get their attention for about a hundred years…!
It’s busy, busy, busy with Dweezil thinking he’s cursed, a nightmare from Jazz’s past haunting her, Foulshadow after her, Irma chitter-chattering away in her ear, Flavius has gone missing, and Nick is badly straining her control — she knows Mother Nature is gonna be on her ass.
Don’t get on Jazz’s bad side…she has a way of making her…annoyance felt.
Jazz Tremaine, a.k.a., Griet of village of Ardglass, was banished for 100 years in 1313 along with 12 other student witches for casting a curse on a human. Hey, the human deserved it! Still, rules are rules and all 13 girls are cast out to make their own way in the world. Fluff and Puff are her anything-eating bunny slippers — they’ve already been banned from a number of venues.
Irma is a ghost of a 1950s-era Nebraska housewife who cursed herself to haunt her husband’s new T-bird when she committed suicide in it after catching him with another woman. Jazz sometimes wonders if having to put up with Irma and her constant chatter is worth driving her cool, cool, car.
Krebs, a.k.a., Jonathan Shaw the Third, is the human from whom she rents the third floor of his house. Not lovers, but friends, Krebs knows all about her witchy self. He’s a geek creating websites for vamps.
Nikolai Gregorivich, a.k.a., Nick Gregory these days, is a vampire working alone these days. He met Griet in Venice one night hundreds of years ago. Back in the day when he worked for the Protectorate, they always provided him with the cover of a law enforcement official. Flavius is his sire and still working for the Protectorate; in his mortal life, he had served as a Consul of Rome. Rowena is a vampire who runs a halfway house for fledgling vamps.
Jazz supplements her curse-breaking income by driving for Dweezil Quix‘s All Creatures Limo Service…and Wisdom ain’t kiddin’…it is all creatures! Mindy is an elf working for Dweezil as a receptionist. She doesn’t seem to mind his varied collection of erotica and vintage sex toys. Tyge Foulshadow is…well, we don’t know what he is. We just know he pants after Jazz and will pay way over the top to have her as his driver for the times he leaves his home.
Murphy and his bear. Movie star Clive Reeves just keeps coming back…like a very bad dream. Detective Larkin has a bad attitude and is channeling Raymond Chandler. He doesn’t seem to like Jazz.
Eurydice is the headmistress for The Academy for Witches and she’s on the Witches’ High Council as well. Allene is her sister. Zafira and Kabira are also on the Council.
The Librarian — be sure to pronounce “the” properly or you’ll never get in! — operates the The Library, a repository for absolutely everything written or drawn about magic.
Stasia Romanov and Blair Fitzpatrick are two of her fellow banishees. Once a month they gather at Moonstone Lake for ritual and centering. I am way envious of how easily they change the color of their nail polish! Lili is another.
The Cover and Title
It’s a cartoon cover with a purple and orange sunset behind a silhouetted city skyline fronted by a very peaky snow-covered hill topped with trees in full autumn foliage with a tilted coffin in front of that and a witchy, skull-ring-wearing Jazz cruising in her T-bird with a black cat in the back seat. I must confess, I would have thought Fluff and Puff would be in her back seat munching down on the upholstery…? You will enjoy the bat flying in the sky next to that crescent moon. Too bad there’s no witch flying by on a broomstick.
The title about Nick’s maddening actions that has Jazz looking for 50 Ways to Hex Your Lover, a book that was w-a-a-a-a-y overdue at The Library.