I received this book for free from the library in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
Adrian Ludens, Brad C. Hodson, Chris Abbey, Christopher Golden, D.L. Snell, Daniel Pyle, David Sakmyster, Don D'Ammassa, E.S. Magill, Eric James Stone, Heather Graham, J.G. Faherty, Jeff Ryan, Jeff Strand, Jim Butcher, Joel A. Sutherland, John Alfred Taylor, Kelley Armstrong, Ken Lillie-Paetz, Kevin J. Anderson, L.A. Banks, Lisa Morton, Lucien Soulban, Mark Onspaugh, Mike Baron, Mike Resnick Lezlie Resnick, Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Norman Prentiss, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Stephen Dorato, Will Ludwigsen
It is part of the , , , series and is a This fantasy, horror, short stories is a paperback edition that was published by Gallery Books on May 29, 2012 and has 513 pages.
Explore it on Goodreads or Amazon.
Other books by this author which I have reviewed include Death's Excellent Vacation, Indigo, Home Improvement: Undead Edition, Mean Streets, Changes, Side Jobs, Ghost Story, Dark and Stormy Knights, Hex Appeal, Welcome to the Jungle, Dangerous Women, Storm Front, Grave Peril, Summer Knight, Fool Moon, Cold Days, Skin Game, Blood Rites, Death Masks, Proven Guilty, White Night, Small Favor, Shadowed Souls, Dates from Hell, Made to Be Broken, Kisses from Hell, Enthralled: Paranormal Diversions, Visions, Deceptions, The Masked Truth, City of the Lost, Empire of Night, Forest of Ruin, Betrayals, A Darkness Absolute, Rituals, Chicks Kick Butt, The Mad Scientist’s Guide to World Domination, Blood Trinity, Man of My Dreams, Invincible, Born of Shadows, Retribution, Big Guns Out of Uniform, Tapestry, Deadly Promises, In Other Worlds, Dream Warrior, "One BAD Night", Dark Side of the Moon, Alterant, The Guardian, Whispered Lies, Infamous, Born of Silence, The Curse, Inferno, Rise of the Gryphon, Styxx, Son of No One, Dragonbane, Born of Vengeance, Deadmen Walking
Third in the Blood Lite series of humorous and/or creepy horror short stories.
Be sure to read the authors’ bios at the end. There’s one in particular that’s an absolute riot!
“I was a Teenage Bigfoot” (Dresden Files, 7.25)
“V Plates” (Women of the Otherworld, 12.5???)
Jim Butcher‘s “I was a Teenage Bigfoot” finds Harry Dresden checking on a friend’s son in boarding school who is supposedly suffering from mono…hah! Still, Harry does find a friend.
This story is the first of a trilogy of short Bigfoot stories by Butcher.
Joel A. Sutherland‘s “Blood-Red Greens” reflects a passion for the greens. The golf greens that is. It really is too funny the lengths to w (hich two men will go to enjoy their game of golf.
Kelley Armstrong‘s “V Plates” is another funny one although I think Armstrong was channeling Keri Arthur on the first half of this one. Seems Noah doesn’t cotton to bein’ teased about his virgin status and Reese and Nick are gonna help that poor boy out. Just, well, it just wasn’t supposed to go quite like this.
Christopher Golden‘s “Put On a Happy Face” is all about clowns, so, for those of you with a fear of clowns…you probably want to read this. The first of the sad ones…and remember, be careful what you wish for.
E. S. Magill‘s “Devil’s Contract” is too funny! A nice rip on software Terms and Conditions. Accept or decline at your peril.
Eric James Stone‘s “Nine-Tenths of the Law” is a, sort of, nod to lawyers. It’s a zombie-ruled world in which they went for the lawyers, the politicians, and judges. Makes it so much easier to get laws passed and judgments made. And Mr. Petrides sneaks in that possession is…Nine-Tenths of the Law…*snicker*!
Jeff Strand‘s “Scrumptious Bone Bread” is a creepy rip-off of Jack and the Beanstalk with a sociopathic nut case curious about bone bread and stupid enough to ask a friend to help. Well, it’s just too depressing working with someone who doesn’t think ahead…
Mark Onspaugh‘s “Let That Be a Lesson to You” is a truly nasty tale involving Amazon.com, demonology, and animal and human sacrifice. Although, since it’s hurting a demon…
Mike Baron‘s “Mint in Box” pokes at all those collectors who buy toys and never remove them from their box. Yup, you got it! **Mint** **Still in its original box** It’s both creepy and well done about a man collecting dolls, sorry…action figures…from obscure horror flicks.
J. G. Faherty‘s “Great Zombie Invasion of 1979” is way too funny as Faherty makes fun of dim, drunk rednecks who are gun-happy.
Stephen Dorato‘s “Dating After the Apocalypse” keeps you wondering as you read through the story. Then there’s the ever-so creepy end….urghhhh!
Jeff Ryan‘s “Typecast” forces us to listen as Linda bitches through her morning about how she sees people. She can’t help but see someone to — loudly — cast them as a character. Oh, man, she has no clue about manners, decency… Ya just about cheer at the end.
Mike Resnick and Lezli Robyn‘s “Making the Cut” is a supernatural barber shop with a wide range of supernatural clientele including poor, unhappy, worried Lamont. He feels he’s letting down his ‘rassling fans, but Mavis inadvertently has the answer.
Will Ludwigsen‘s “Acknowledgements” sends up the acknowledgements many authors write in their books, although his thanks are to all those who helped with his supernatural investigation. Nicely done and quite funny.
Heather Graham‘s “Mannequin” was truly creepy with a twist. Two young couples intend to spend the night at the Cantrell House. Renowned for the fate of its original owners and their murders, it’s a little bit’s Chucky with those mannequins all over the place. Ick…
Daniel Pyle‘s “Short Term” is rather gruesomely funny as this old fart, Henderson, manages to break into someone’s house. Again and again and again and…
Nina Kiriki Hoffman‘s “Distressed Travelers” certainly puts a twist on a supernatural sucker. “Tim” loves airports for all the emotions they generate, such a harvest. Sigh… It is rather luscious how Hoffman assigns such a variety of flavors to all those feelings. Fortunately, “Tim” is a humanitarian, somewhere, inside that, whatever and “he” does humanity a favor.
L.A. Banks‘ “Bayou Brawl” is a brawl all right and a pretty funny story involving shifters, vampires, fae, humans, and demons up against aliens. And they’re in a hurry to take care of this mess before the military gets involved! God only knows what the fae would do if the army attacked! Banks twists on vampires, werewolves, full moons, and threesomes with a touch of Marie Laveau. The end is an absolute crack-up. Talk about cooperation.
This is Banks’ last story before she died. She will be missed.
John Alfred Taylor‘s “Steeple People” is too funny for words! A clever little business scheme with a concern for its accountant to verify its false set of books. From steeples to “roadkill” and a hijacked sprinkler system…
David Sakmyster‘s “For Sale” is one for all of you who has gone house hunting or sells houses. Mmm-hmmmm, a real steal…if you survive!
Norman Prentiss‘ “Man Who Could Not Be Bothered to Die” is just gross! Although, I do know the feeling…I’ll probably just keep waiting for the latest Butcher, Armstrong, Kenyon, Mead, Singh, Harrison, Harris, Tremayne, Todd, Green, Hamilton, Phoenix and on and on and… Yup, like Tony, I’ll never die…bwa-ha-ha!
Don D’Ammassa‘s “Last Demon” is a too funny story about Ogerak the Off-putting. A demon who escaped Hell intending to rule the world only to get there. To Earth that is. Poor baby. It’ll give ya a whole new appreciation for life as we…well, suffer it.
Adrian Ludens‘ “A Misadventure to Call Your Own” is mostly funny, part irritating. It’s one of those stories in which’s you decide (from a possibility of three choices that crop up every few paragraphs) which direction the story will follow. It seems our protagonist made a bad decision last night and now he’s paying for it this morning. Let’s see where that body ends up.
Chris Abbey‘s “Smoke and Mirrorballs” is a dorky combination of Dancing with the Stars and famous characters from history and/or the classics.
D.L. Snell‘s “Brians!!” is so dorky that it’s funny! For all the mama’s boys and those of you who hate Stephanie Myers, come read this zombie fest!
Ken Lillie-Paetz‘s “Still Life” is two pages long and gets right to the point…unlike his artist!
Sherrilyn Kenyon‘s “A Day in the Life” finds Elliott Lawson hysterically happy to hysterically terrified in one short day. Let this be a lesson to book reviewers, editors, and publishers…oh, my!
Lisa Morton‘s “Old MacDonald Had an Animal Farm” is a quirky combination of Animal Farm, Dr. Doolittle, and I am Legend…I ain’t sayin’ another word…
I have to confess I think Meowsy’s name is too cute…don’t tell my kittens I said that!
Brad C. Hodson‘s “Two for Transylvania” pokes fun at the Dracula classic and the scam artists. Too bad ol’ Drac didn’t read Bram Stoker before starting this little scheme.
Lucien Soulban‘s “Four Horsemen Reunion Tour: An Apocumentary” will appeal to anyone who follows rock ‘n roll documentaries.
The Cover and Title
The cover is white with a close-up of a vampire’s very white chin and her black lips and nails. Licking a bloody lollipop certainly adds a certain je ne sais quoi, LOL.
Blood Lite III is the third in this ongoing series of anthologies while the subtitle (it’s really the title), well, let’s just say it definitely leaves an Aftertaste…