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| Services » Editing, Copyediting, & Proofing Examples |
Editing
Editing is the heavyweight and may involve more substantial changes such as eliminating passive voice, ensuring a clear flow of ideas (including layout usability), rewriting sections of text without changing the author's voice
, eliminating excessive wordiness, and reorganizing the document.
Below are two editing examples. Example 1 is too wordy and there is no introduction while Example 2 is confusing for the reader from a combination of passive voice and, again, excessive wordiness.
Example 1 is too wordy with no introduction.
Before: Original Text
CHAPTER I
PERSONALITY: "WHO AM I"
The mind, psyche, controls economics, whether it is micro or macro; whether it is in your personal lifestyle, it is in running a large corpration, or running a government. The mind, which depicts your personality, controls your economics, hereafter referred to as your lifestyle finances. It can be about your personal life or about how you make a living; how you esablish a lifestyle for self and your family.
The study of your personality from a psychological perspective is based on many theories, but to get a workable understanding of your personality, this book will explore the day-to-day activities that can be defined through your internal and external responses to various activities in your life from birth to death.
After: Editing and Reorganizing for Flow
INTRODUCTION
Whether your psyche is in working for a large corporation, running a government, blue-collar work, or healthcare, your mind controls both the micro and macro economics in your personal lifestyle and in business. Your mind depicts your personalty, your personal life, how you make a living, and how you establish a lifestyle for yourself and your family—hereafter referred to as your lifestyle finances.
To reach a workable understanding of your personality, this book will explore the day-to-day activities definable through your internal and external responses to various in your life from birth to death.
Example 2 is passive and too wordy which can be confusing for the reader.
| Original Text | Edited for Clarity and Active Voice | Reason(s) for Altering Text |
|---|---|---|
| The perceptions you have are based on your value system, moral character you developed, your attitude about people, places and social lifestyles. | Your perceptions are based on your value system, the moral character you developed, and your attitude about people, places, and social lifestyles. | Your perceptionsand social lifestylestightens, clarifies, and grammatically concludes the sequence |
| If you identified positive and negative traits about yourself, you should be thinking about what would be an ideal concept you would like to see in yourself and what others see in you. | If you identified positive and negative traits about yourself, think about the ideal youwhich you and others would like to see in yourself. |
Makes the sentence active and not passive |
| Then, can you meet those ideals. | Can you meet those ideals? | Tightens the sentence and punctuates it properly |
It is not up to the "otherperson to determine what the ideal person in you would be. Only you can determine that –it is your responsibility. |
It is not up to the otherperson to determine who you are as an ideal person. Only you can determine that—it is your responsibility. |
Removes the verb, befrom the end of the sentence making it active and not passive |
Copyediting
Copyediting encompasses checking for spelling and grammatical errors, examining for proper word use, eliminating the use of passive voice, and repairing inconsistencies. It may also include notations about text flow.
The following is a representative sample of typical copyediting:
| Original Text | Edited Text | Reason(s)for Altering Text |
|---|---|---|
The values we learned as a child are in conflict or in congruence with the outerworld; a society with a mirage of similar and dissimilar behaviors. |
The values we learned as children are either in conflict or in congruence with the outerworld; a society with a mélange of similar and dissimilar behaviors. |
Maintaining pronoun agreement—weindicates plural requiring more than one child, children Use of eitheremphasizes the contrast between conflictand congruence Mélangereplaces mirage
|
There are struggles with urges and drives that become stronger and different from the protected world of home. When there are conflicts with social values; it is a conflict of inner forces which leads to behavior that defines how you act, react, interact; then how you take control of your behavior that further defines you personality. |
We experience struggles with urges and drives that become stronger and different from the protected world of "home". When there are conflicts with social values, it is a conflict of inner forces which leads to behavior that defines how you act, react, interact, and then how you take control of your behavior that further defines your personality. | We experiencepersonalizes the sentence encouraging the reader to empathize with its content Extra space between socialand valuesis eliminated Incorrect use of semicolons:
|
Proofing
Proofing is concerned with the final text. Examining it for formatting and typographical errors (typos).
Proofing is one of my stronger skills as, even when reading for fun, I still read every single word…and I keep running across typos in the books I read. It makes me so nuts, that I end up sending corrections to the publishers…
An example of the correction files I create are below. I use a large red style for the letters/words missing and a crossed-out gray for the incorrect letters/words.
Table 1. Example of Proofreading Chart
| Page | Paragraph | Line | Correction | Rule |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 61 | 10 | 2 | …lead her out of the bathroom |
|
| 65 | 12 | 1 | My, my, my. |
It's sequential. |
| 73 | 3 | 2 | …to want, to need, to repeat, over and over again. |
This could just be personal prejudice… |
| 77 | 5 | 7 | …debutante that who didn't know how to shoot. |
Whois used to talk about a person; thatis used to talk about a thing. |
| 88 | 5 | 1 | …said Paige was in a trauma and we had… |
The trauma is a definite state of being; ais used only with indefinite articles, i.e., a book, a movie, a (any) trauma. Paige's trauma is very definite. |
| 221 | 6 | 3 | If you're gonna do recognizance reconnaissance for me… |
Recognizanceis used in law or is an obsolete word for recognize. Reconnaissanceis used by the military and engineers to explore an area. It is also from an old French verb meaning to recognize. |
| 335 | Last | Last | …so she wouldn't loose her cool… |
Looserefers to something that is not compact or not dense in structure. Loserefers to failing to keep or not keeping track of something. |
Table 2. Random selection of corrections (without page, paragraph, or line indicators).
junkyardis one word |
|
Fences need repaired. |
|
…by a hand's width… |
Widthis possessed by hand. |
hoofves |
Misspelling |
…never forgotten… |
Forgottenis generally used with the variations of have |
…she'll chew you're ass for sure. |
Youris possessive; you'reis a contraction of you are |
Oh, my Ggod! |
Godis not capitalized if not being used as a proper name |
KD Did IT will work with you.

