Five things in books that drive me round the bend, the idiotic antics, the issues that are so whacko-nutso that I am knocked senseless.
#1 – Historical Accuracy
I hate it when authors writing historical fiction can’t be bothered to even try to adhere to the mores, culture, styles, and language of their chosen time period. What is the point of writing in a particular time in history, if you aren’t going to immerse us in it!
I’m not asking for a Shakespearean delight, but don’t tell me about dingdongs or have your characters turning on a dime in a Regency novel.
#2 – Proofreading!!!!!
Admittedly, I am rather obsessive about the use of proper English, but when my attention is caught more by the misspellings and missing articles; transposed words; using the wrong words; mixing up one’s own style usage; general cluelessness about style; lack of continuity; poor fact checking; incorrect use of capitalization and italicization; poor punctuation; inconsistent verb tense and/or subject/verb agreement; dangling modifiers—while they do make me laugh or groan—still drive me batty; improper sentence structure; and, more than I am by the story…well, that’s just sad! It’s even more sad when the poor writing can distract from an erotic novel…!
#3 – Stupidity
There are two kinds of stupidity that drives me mad. One is setting the baseline for a character who is intelligent and then having them act out of character. Especially when the situation does NOT call for it. In general, I assume this is done because the author is too frickin’ lazy to work it.
The second one is stupid writing. The kind of writing that talks down to the reader. I tend to find this type most often in books geared to young adults. Why is it that an author thinks kids are stupid??
Of course, condescending writers are not limited to kids. An excellent case in point is Fern Michael’s Sisterhood series. Gag…gag…gag… She has a cute idea for this series, but the writing is so terribly bad and her characters are such children. In spite of their “exalted” status in society.
Part of what I consider stupidity are the clichéd easy-outs a number of authors fall onto such as the “oh, he wronged me” or the heroine who claims to not want a relationship either, but then the author lazes out and “creates” tension by making her miserable because “he doesn’t love her”.
No, I actually don’t have a problem with characters who are created as less than intelligent — providing that they remain in character. Sure, there may be the odd moment when they have a flash of smart. And, as long as it is reasonable in terms of the situation, that’s fine.
#4 – People in Dangerous Situations
I recently wrote a review on Kathy Reichs’
Bones are Forever which perfectly relates to this pet peeve.
What is with these supposedly intelligent people who leave “important” messages with their allies but never tell them where they actually are. Call me. Now. is supposed to be what sort of help if you run into trouble?
Personally, I prefer 58th and Maine. Tracking suspect.. Duhhhh.
Maybe it’s okay because Tempe left the same call me message on two phones.
*Unghh, trying to pull tongue out of ch-e-e-k—unghhh—*
#5 – D’ya Feel Me?
One of my big complaints when I’m reading is the lack of feeling in a story. I want to feel the cold. I want to be hungry (or at least grateful that the fridge and microwave are just steps away!). I want my heart to beat faster when I’m afraid. I want to wallow in the thoughts of my hot, lovely, indoor shower. I want to be worried about romantic entanglements.
I want to be excited, thrilled…happy.
It’s difficult to feel anything if the author isn’t writing the emotion into a story. How can I be happy that the hero has survived the war if I never felt there was a chance he wouldn’t? How can I thrill to the heroine getting that great job unless I have felt her worry? How can I empathize with a character if I don’t feel his hunger, the cold, the lousy clothing?
I want to FEEL!
Do any of these things drive you batty? Or is there something else that makes you nuts??
