I received this book for free from the library in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
Source: the library
Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs
by
Molly Harper
urban fantasy in a paperback edition that was published by Pocket Star on March 31, 2009 and has 355 pages.
Explore it on Goodreads or Amazon
Other books by this author which I have reviewed include Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men, Nice Girls Don't Live Forever, Nice Girls Don't Bite Their Neighbors, How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf, The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires
First in the Jane Jameson hysterically funny, romantic urban-fantasy series set in Half-Moon Hollow on the border between Kentucky and Ohio.
My Take
A too, too-funny beach read! I was cracking up from page one and didn’t stop for a good 10 pages. What can I say, as funny as Harper is, I haven’t read anyone yet who has made dying funny.
Omigod, how can you not adore lines like: “My joyless Hun of a supervisor” [Mrs. Stubblefield] and “…allowed the library to stock ‘questionable books’ such as…the Harry Potter series but tracked who read them…in a file marked ‘Potential Troublemakers'”. I do love how Jane got her own back on Mrs. Stubblefield at the end! Hee-hee…!
I just adore the conversations Jane has with Gabriel on the similarities between Elvis and Johnny Cash as well as their differences. They debate the merits of Jane Austen versus Robert Burns. Jane quotes Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham and knows acres of interesting trivia. And, thank you god, at last, a writer who knows how to spell résumé!
I don’t understand why Jane doesn’t tell Gabriel about all the nasty things happening in her life?? The stalking, the poisoning, the graffiti. As for the romantic angle, Harper was all rough angles on this. There simply wasn’t any question that Gabriel was gonna hook up with Jane…at least…not until the end.
The Story
Jane has just lost her job as the children’s librarian. Lost it to Mrs. Stubblefield’s idiot stepdaughter, Posey. The fire-starting, unemployable woman who can barely say her A, B, Cs let alone figure out the Dewey Decimal system.
Trying to drink her way into oblivion, Jane meets Mr. Too-Yummy and, on the way home, gets shot by a drunken neighbor thinking she’s a deer. Given the choice between dying and becoming a vampire, Jane gives her consent to Gabriel to “bring her over”.
And, in some ways, it’s the start of life for Jane. God knows the sex is good! But, it’s the fact that Jane inherited her Great-Aunt Jettie’s 147-year-old pre-Civil War farmhouse, River Oaks, that sets off the conspiracy that begins haunting Jane almost from the moment of her undeath. It’s just not enough that Jenny and Grandma Ruthie want to run Jane off.
The Characters
Jane Enid Jameson is a newly-fired librarian in Half-Moon Hollow and related to most of the town. Absolutely fascinated by books and trivia, she’s a hoot to read. She and her history professor Dad just adore each other while surviving Mama’s dictates is purgatorial. As for her sister, Jenny. Eeek. Then there’s Grandma Ruthie. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that the Social Security Administration hired the woman to help reduce the retired population the way she goes through husbands.
Gabriel Nightengale has been a vampire at least since the Civil War and has managed to retain ownership of his family’s plantation in the area over the years. He finds Jane amusing and extremely attractive. He loves that he never knows what she’s going to say.
Great-Aunt Jettie sounds like she was a riot in life. Unfortunately for her and Jane, she’s dead. Her ghost is hanging around River Oaks providing moral support to Jane and crackin’ wise when her unloved relatives show up. Zeb Lavelle, Jane’s best friend since first grade, is a kindergarten teacher, who tries to stab her with a plastic knife, over and over. Joining a support group for friends and relatives of the recently undead, he meets Jolene, another woman with some interesting personal and family issues.
Andrea Byrnes is a walking blood bank who tastes of a
“delicate, floral flavor” and Jane goes on to “wonder if blood types were like wines. Maybe type O negative was full-bodied with undertones of oak. Or if you want something light with hints of tropical fruit, type B positive.”
Dick Cheney is an old childhood friend of Gabriel’s. Yup, he’s a vamp, too. Unfortunately, their friendship didn’t survive Gabriel’s conversion 10 years before Dick’s. And it’s just gotten worse since. Now Dick gets his jollies by trying to get romantic with Jane and piss Gabriel off. He’s seeing Missy Houston and probably the other half of the McClure county…
The Cover and Title
The cover is much more sophisticated than Jane. We see Gabriel and Jane from the waist to their noses with Jane wearing a black, thin-strapped tank top tapping a straw between her teeth as Gabriel is…mmmm…leaning in to kiss her neck…and doesn’t he look luscious as he hovers! Damn, I want me some a’ that!
The title sounds like Jane’s Mama. Too worried about Jane’s spinster-hood and whatever will the neighbors think…after all, Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs.
